she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
True strength comes from lack of pants
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
