Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
