Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
