just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
