i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize