When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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