Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Say something about gay babies.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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