Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
