i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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