we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
did you just send me my own nude
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
