I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
