I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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