do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
