Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
