This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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