He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
