You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
