Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
