a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
