She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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