i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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