Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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