just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
