super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
