I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
