You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
