1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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