At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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