He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize