Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
