its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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