I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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