at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
