I cockslap morals
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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