I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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