So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
