I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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