i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
