i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
