What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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