If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
