You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize