I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
