Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
