Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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