it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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