Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
