this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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