There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's never too late to be topless.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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