i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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