Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
