Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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