hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
how drunk are you?
Several
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
