he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Damn victory sex feels great
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
