My first STD was from a foam party
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
