doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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