I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
