Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
