I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
