A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
