She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
