I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
