im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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