the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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